Every Light in the House is On
by Sapphonest
Summary: Femslash: C/S. Songfic. Sara leaves and Catherine copes.


**Every Light in the House is On**

**Disclaimer:** So, the characters aren't mine. But I'm sure you knew that. Oh, and neither is the song. That belongs to Trace Adkins.

**A/N:** Welcome to my first song fic. Hope it doesn't suck too much.

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I watched as she angrily pulled open the top drawer of her dresser from my place in the doorframe of our bedroom. She threw the clothes she'd just gathered into an open suitcase on the bed. The second drawer was pulled open and another stack of her things were dumped into her bag.

"Please, don't do this, Sara," I pleaded with her. Every move she made broke my heart a little further. She didn't even pause to acknowledge me; instead, she moved to the closet. Our closet.

"We can fix this, baby. Please, just talk to me." Again, my words seemed to fall on deaf ears. With an armful of her clothes, she stomped back to the bed and tossed them to join the others. Her bag was hastily zipped and she finally paused to look up at me.

"I have to go, Catherine. This just…" she paused to take a breath and I could see the pain in her eyes. I wanted to reach out to her, to hold her to me, but I knew it wouldn't help anything. "I need to go. I can't stay here anymore." When she looked back up into my eyes, I saw the resolution there, and I knew any further attempt was pointless.

And that hurt.

I felt the warm tear that had been lingering in the corner of my eye trace a path down my cheek, and I made my way to the bed. I sat down and buried my face in my hands. I could feel her standing above me, and I knew she knew I'd accepted that she was leaving.

I looked up into her eyes and found tears mirroring mine.

_I told you I'd leave a light on_

_In case you ever wanted to come back home_

"I'll leave the light on for you. In case you change your mind." I had no idea what else to say. I couldn't stop her. I just wanted so badly for her to know that she could come back.

She smiled softly at me, and again I could see that this was affecting her too.

"Thank you. I appreciate that, Cath. But…" I didn't need for her to finish. I already knew what she meant, and I felt a fresh flood of tears pave their way down my reddened face.

But I wasn't going to give up. I knew I was going to miss her, and I wanted her to know it.

_You smiled and said you appreciate the gesture_

_I took your every word to heart'_

_Cause I cant stand us being apart_

_And just to show how much I really miss ya_

She got up, suitcase in hand, and turned from the room. It took me a while to follow her, because I wasn't sure I could trust my legs to hold me.

When I finally made my way to the front step, I saw her closing the trunk of her car. She made her way to the driver's side door and opened it, then paused to look up at me. The small sad smile on her lips gave me a sharp pain in my chest, but I managed to give her one of the same. I reach up to the switch just inside the door and flipped on the porch light, letting her know I meant what I'd said.

Watching her drive away was the hardest thing I'd ever done.

When I left for work that night, I made sure to stay true to my word. Little by little, I made my way through the house and flicked on each light as I went. When I was satisfied that I got to each one, I locked the front door and left.

On my way back home in the morning, I stopped at the Home Depot and bought walk-way lights for the front walk. I made sure to buy the extra bright ones, and I hadn't even made my way back into the house before I was setting them up. I turned them on to check that they worked and decided to just leave them on.

I finally made my way back to the house and without hesitation, I made a beeline for the answering machine. I knew it was unlikely that there would be a message from her, but I checked anyway.

I really hoped she remembered that the lights were on for her. Just in case she wanted to come back.

_Every light in the house is on_

_The backyards bright as the crack of dawn_

_The front walk looks like runway lights_

_It's kinda like noon in the dead of night_

_Every light in the house is on_

_Just in case you ever do get tired of being gone_

_Every light in the house is on_

On the eighteenth day after Sara left, I promised myself that if I could no longer precisely recall her features, then I'd turn a light off. And if I couldn't replay her laugh in my head, I'd turn off another.

So she'd know that I agreed with her.

On the fifty second day, every single light was still on.

On the fifty fourth day, I found a extra bottle of her favorite body wash. I drove to the store and bought a new back-porch light.

I only she would look my way, I'm sure that she could see the glow of all the lights I'd left on for her, letting her know I was still waiting to have her in my arms.

_If I should ever start forgetting_

_I'll turn the lights off one by one_

_So you can see that I agree it's over_

_But until then I want you to know_

_If you look south, you'll see a glow_

_That's me waiting at home each night to hold ya_

I went out into the back yard last night. With my already messed up sleeping schedule, I thought it was midday. It wasn't until I checked out how much time I had before shift that I realized it was 11 o'clock at night.

_Every light in the house is on_

_T__he backyards bright as the crack of dawn_

_T__he front walk looks like runway lights_

_It's kinda like noon in the dead of night_

_Every light in the house is on_

_Just in case you ever do get tired of being gone_

_Every light in the house is on_

It is now day three hundred and thirty five, and still, every light in the house is on.

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Thank you so much for the read, and a review would really be appreciated.

And check out the song. Every Light in the House is On -- Trace Adkins


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